Occupations :-D
Hello, everybody!
Enjoy this joke about occupations! It's really funny!
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
An actuary is someone who brings a bomb on a plane, because that decreases the
chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
An archaeologist is a person who's career lies in ruins.
An architect is someone who makes beautiful models, but unaffordable realities.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A banker is a person who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining and wants
it back the minute it begins to rain.
A chemical engineer is doing for a profit what an organic chemist only does for
fun.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the
time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will
look forward to the trip.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things they predicted
yesterday didn't happen today.
An editor is a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to separate
the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
A journalist is someone who spends 50% of the time not saying what they know
and the other 50% of the time talking about things they don't know.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".
A mathematician is a blind person in a dark room looking for a black cat which
isn't there.
A modern artist is someone who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth
and sells the cloth.
A philosopher is a person who doesn't have a job but at least understands why.
A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way
you don't understand.
A psychologist is a person whom you pay a lot of money to ask you questions that
your spouse asks free of charge.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned person who used to think they liked children.
A sociologist is someone who, when a beautiful women enters the room and everybody
looks at her, looks at everybody.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality
to be an accountant.
A topologist is a person who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup
and a doughnut.
--
25.04.2004 - 14:39
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