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Автор
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Служба Рассылок Городского Кота


Служба Рассылок Городского Кота
   Выпуск  18                                Шутки из забугорья                       

Greetings!

   Жизнь медленно, но уверенно становится легче :0) Победитель - Serge 'long time' Yakunin :

   Имелся однажды фермер овцы, кто имел Французский язык farmhand работающий с ним, чтобы помогать кастрировать его овцу. Поскольку фермер кастрировал первую овцу, Французский язык farmhand брал(принимал) части, и собирался бросать их в хлам. "НЕТ"! Вопясь фермер, " Не бросает те далеко! Моя жена жарит их, и мы едим их, они восхитительны! Они вызываются, овца Жарит! " Farmhand сохранил части и брал(принимал) их жене фермера, кто сфабриковала их для ужина. Это проходило в течение трех дней ...., и каждый вечер они имели Овцу, жарит для ужина. На четвертой ночи фермер вошел к фирме для ужина. Он спросил его жену, где farmhand был, и она ответила, " Это - самая странная вещь(дело)! Когда он вошел и спросил, что было для ужина, я сообщил ему, французский язык Жарит, и он выполнился подобно аду!!! "

   Ну что ж, еще картинка тем, кому это интересно (надеюсь, таковые еще остались :-)) http://www.jorikus.newmail.ru/fun/p3.html

   Five Belgians in an Audi Quattro arrive at the French border. The French Customs agent stops them and tells them: "It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro." "Oh, no, Quattro is just the name of the automobile. Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons." "You can't pull that one on me," replies the French customs agent. "Quattro means 4!" "Oh, you are so stupid! Call your supervisor over!" "He can't come. He's busy with the 2 guys in the Fiat Uno."

Sent by Igor Laberov

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   Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elks. But the pilot objected. "The plane can take out only four of your elk; you will have to leave two behind," he stated. They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard, and the plane was just the same model and capacity as this. Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when they attempted to take off and leave the valley where they were, the little plane could not make it, and they crashed in the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other hunter. "I think this is about the same place where the plane crashed last year."

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   A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

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   One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?" My sister in law stammered a bit, but finally got her composure. She thought it was time her daughter knew the facts of life. So, she told Little Rita how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As my sister in law gave the whole story, Rita's eyes got wider and wider. When She was finished, Little Rita said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Rusty told me. He said that he came from Pennsylvania."

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   A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people predict the future with cards?" His response was, "My mother can." The teacher replied, "Really?" The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

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   Вокабулярик

An elk - лось;

a buck - самец (лося или оленя);

reluctantly - неохотно;

anxious - заинтересованный;

a donkey - ослик;

to stammer - заикаться, запнуться;

a womb - лоно, чрево;

a report card - типа дневник.

                           Keep laughing!    Jorikus
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