Отправляет email-рассылки с помощью сервиса Sendsay

1 английская типичная ошибка в неделю. Только для гурманов.

Рассылка закрыта

При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Английский от Смирнова" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.

Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.

←   Октябрь 2002   →
 1
 2
 3
 4
 5
 6
 7
 8
 9
10
11
11.10.2002
17:10:35
21:32:24
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
28.10.2002
00:01:26
00:14:22
29
30
31
Автор
ucmok_peku

Статистика

9.356 подписчиков
-2 за неделю
←   Все выпуски   →

Еженедельные путешествия в мир, который говорит по-английски Humor on the Run (#4)


Информационный Канал Subscribe.Ru
Еженедельные путешествия в мир,
который говорит по-английски 		группа независимых переводчиков
Слово - Dело: www.slovo-delo.ru

Humor on the Run (#4)

Добрый день, уважаемые подписчики. Специально для тех, кто недавно подписался на нашу рассылку сообщаю, что в четверг-пятницу мы делаем выпуск, посвящённый исключительно юмору (анекдоты, шутки и т.д.) на английском языке. Не спешите отписываться! По понедельникам выходит настоящий выпуск, посвящённый каким-нибудь проблемам, трудностям и интересностям английского языка. Так что даже если трудно понимать юмор (всё-таки надеюсь, что вы разберётесь), ждите понедельника. А сегодня отдыхаем.

Сегодняшний выпуск посвящён шуткам про русских, то есть про нас с Вами.Многие анекдоты - простое переложение наших анекдотов на английский язык. Тем легче вам будет их понять. Поехали!

* * *

Overheard in Moscow: What is the difference between Russian Optimist, Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

* * *

There was this drugstore in NYC, near the Russian Embassy where a couple once descended. Being Russian, and utterly inhibited about sex, they asked the guy across the counter for "protection". He nodded conspiratorially and called the CIA.

* * *

An American tourist is visiting Russia, and he's talking with a Russian about the fact that not many people in Russia own cars. The American says, "I can't believe you don't have cars here! How do you get to work?" The Russian replies, "We take bus." The American asks, "Well, how do you go on vacations?" The Russian replies, "We take train." The American asks, "Well, what if you want to go abroad?" The Russian replies, "We don't want go abroad." The American presses further and asks, "Well, what if you really HAVE to go abroad?" The Russian replies, "We take tanks."

* * *

A man in Russia gets a ticket allowing him to buy a car. He sits down with the car dealer and picks out the basic car and then a few options. The car dealer says the car will be ready in ten years. The man wants to know if it will be ready in the morning or the afternoon. The car dealer is a bit surprised, "Why do you care? It's ten years away." "Well the plumber is coming in the morning."

* * *

At the Olympics in the Soviet Union, Brezhnev started a speech at the opening ceremonies. He began as follows: "Oh...." "Ooooo...." "Oh...." "Ooo...." "Ooohh." until one of his advisors quietly pointed out that the Olympic symbol was not a part of the speech to read.

* * *

Brezhnev called in all the Soviet cosmonauts, and in an effort to surpass the U.S. in the Space race, said, "Comrades, I have a plan to overtake the U.S. in Space exploration - you will land on the sun!" "But Comrade Brezhnev," they complained, "we'll burn up!" "Do you take me for a fool," he asked, "you'll land at night!"

* * *

Brezhnev goes off to India and meets with Indira Ghandi. When he comes back he has a dot painted on his forehead, in the Indian tradition. Everyone asks him why he had the dot put on. "Well," he replies, "when I met with Indira, at one point during our conversation, she turned to me and said, pointing to her head, 'You know something, Brezhnev? You're missing something - right here.'"

* * *

A man was arrested one night for running across Red Square yelling "Khrushchev is a fool! Khrushchev is a fool!" He was arrested and given 10 years - 5 for slandering the leader, and 5 for revealing a state secret.

* * *

1950's. Khrushchev receives an urgent cable from Mao: DEAR COMRADE KHRUSHCHEV. CHINESE PEOPLE STARVING. SEND FOOD. Khrushchev cables back: DEAR COMRADE MAO. REGRET STARVING CHINESE. HAVE NO SURPLUS FOOD. TIGHTEN BELTS. To which he receives the following reply from Mao: SEND BELTS.

* * *

When Jimmy Carter came up with the idea of the neutron bomb (to kill people but leave buildings standing), I wasn't sure what the logic was - I mean, what was the use of all these buildings if nobody was around to use them. But the serious drinkers of the Soviet Union thought it was a wonderful idea. "Just think of it," they said, "a full liquor store and no lines!"

* * *

Living in Moscow in 1977, there was a report on the short-wave radio that some Soviet musician had defected in New York. The NEXT DAY, somebody said to me, "You know what a Soviet trio is? - A Soviet quartet returning from New York."

* * *

A good friend of mine was recently touring Scotland. After stopping in a local store he spied a kilt that he absolutely had to have. After haggling with the shopkeeper for an extended period of time, they arrived at a mutually agreeable price far below that which was posted. My friend then took out his velcro wallet and proceeded to open it, at which point the shopkeeper exclaimed "Ay, now that is a good Scotch purse, it even screams when ye open it!"

* * *

A Soviet architect was on a trip abroad. A foreign architect invited him to his home. He showed his Soviet guest around the house. "This is the hall," he explained, "and this is the living room. This is my study, those are the children's bedrooms, this is the master bedroom, and this is a spare room for visitors. Then there are the kitchen, the dining room and two bathrooms." "It is a very good arrangement," said the Soviet guest. "What sort of arrangement do you have?" "Much the same, only without the partitions."

* * *

Why hasn't anyone from Mexico ever won an Olympic Gold Medal?
All of their best runners, jumpers and swimmers are in the United States.

До встречи в понедельник.

Наш электронный адрес: english@slovo-delo.ru
Сайт группы независимых переводчиков "Слово-Дело" www.slovo-delo.ru - здесь Вы можете посмотреть предыдущие выпуски рассылки.

Мы также выпускаем рассылку для тех, кому интересны
немецкий язык и культура немецкоговорящих стран:

Немецкий быт и образ жизни глазами русского,
или стоит ли бояться немецкого языка?

Для подписки введите Ваш e-mail и нажмите кнопку "Подписаться".

http://subscribe.ru/
E-mail: ask@subscribe.ru 		Отписаться
Убрать рекламу
В избранное