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Служба Рассылок Городского Кота


Служба Рассылок Городского Кота
   Выпуск  7                                Шутки из забугорья                       

Приветствую вас, дорогие мои!

   Весна идет полным ходом, на банановых кустах заколосились первые почки, птицы вовсю распевают песенки Земфиры, а я сижу и глубокую думу думаю...Одно из двух: или все мои подписчики страдают от патологической скромности, или у меня перестало работать детергентное средство на основе КОН, в простонародье мыло. К чему это я? Да к тому, что к моему глубочайшему удивлению и огорчению не пришло ни одного перевода. А я-то уже предвкушал, можно сказать, смаковал в воспаленном воображении те замечательные творения компьютерного Intelлекта, которые могли бы иметь место... Но увы! Все мои чаяния оказались тщетными, рассыпавшимися в сахарную пудру :( А посему - небольшое отклонение от анекдотной темы в сторону чистого искусства машинного перевода:

Mike Oldfield "In High Places"


Could we get much higher?
Could we get much lighter?
Navigator to heaven.

Check out, did you check your heart?
This cloudless blue.
This starlight night, yeah.


Shoot out into the shining,
That devil moon. (That devil moon)
He sings of love, yeah.


Мы могли добраться намного выше?
Мы могли получить много осветителя?
Система наведения к небесам.


Контроль, Вы проверяли вашу основу?
Этот безоблачный синий.
Эта ночь света звезд, да.

Та луна переносного паяльного тигеля.
(Та луна переносного паяльного тигеля)
Он признаки любви, да.

  Прислал Андрей

Ну что ж, остается пожелать и вам не терять основу, и самое главное - don't be so shy, и Фортуна обязательно повернется к вам тем, чем надо :0) В общем, конкурс ПРОДОЛЖАЕТСЯ, а мы приступаем ко второй части Марлезонского балета :)

   A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent asked : "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map! " The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

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   Q: What thing is not needed by the one who made it, the one who bought it does not need it for himself and the one who uses it does not even know what it is?
   A: Coffin

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   A man was so proud to have two beautiful daughters that he longed for his wife to give him a son. His wife got pregnant and when the baby came out it was a boy. The man looked at the baby and said, "hey, this is not mine, it's the ugliest baby I 've ever seen!" His wife said, "It's really your son. The first 2 aren't!"

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   A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

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   Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help but admire your faith!"

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   Вокабулярик

Buffalo - буйвол;

all of a sudden - внезапно;

a bedpan - ночной горшок;

to pour - наливать;

a minister - лицо духовного сана;

                           Keep laughing!    Jorikus

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