Добрый день, уважаемые подписчики. Специально для тех,
кто недавно подписался на нашу рассылку сообщаю, что в четверг-пятницу
мы
делаем выпуск, посвящённый исключительно юмору (анекдоты, шутки и т.д.)
на
английском языке. Не спешите отписываться! По понедельникам выходит
настоящий
выпуск, посвящённый каким-нибудь проблемам, трудностям и интересностям
английского
языка. Так что даже если трудно понимать юмор (всё-таки надеюсь, что вы
разберётесь),
ждите понедельника. А в середине недели мы отдыхаем, наслаждаясь
английским
юмором или шуткам на английском языке. Сегодня вашему вниманию предлагаю
шутки
про блондинок (это отдельная категория юмора, которую ну никак нельзя
обойти,
так как над глупостью блондинок смеются во всём мире). Блондинок прошу
не
обижаться, мы вас всё равно очень любим!
Blonde Jokes
Q: how does a blond kill a bird?
A: she throws it off a cliff
* * *
Q: Why did the blonde have to drink a hot pepsi?
A: Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle.
* * *
Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?
A. It's cloged up with paperplates.
* * *
Q.How many blondes does it take to change a light
bulb?
A. 3.1 to find bulb 1 to find a ladder &1
to find a man.
* * *
There were three women at an American college eating lunch.
There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging
about
their countries. The Russian said," We were the first in
space."
The American said," We were the first on the moon." The Blonde
said,"
Well, we will be the first on the sun." The Russian said," You
cannot
do that or you will burn up!" "Duh! We'll go at night."
the
Blonde replied.
* * *
One day, a blonde, brunette, and redhead were
walking along a beach. Suddenly, a bird flies over and craps on the
redhead.
The blonde tells the brunette, "Quick, go get some toilet
paper!"
The brunette replies, "By the time I get back, the bird will be
gone!"
* * *
Why don't blondes know how to write the number
"11"?
They don't know which "1" comes first!
* * *
Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it
* * *
Q: Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine
cabinet?
A: Because she didn't want to wake up the sleeping
pills.
* * *
Q. What does a U.F.O and an intellegent blonde
have in common?
A. You always hear about them... but you never
see them!
* * *
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone!
* * *
Q: Have you heard about the new shirts made just
for blondes?
A: They come with an instruction manual. LEFT
ARM, RIGHT ARM, HEAD, FRONT, BACK.
* * *
Two blondes are observed in a parking lot trying
to unlock the door of their BMW.
Blonde #1: I cant seem to get this door unlocked.
Blonde #2: Well, you better hurry up. It's starting
to rain and the top is down!
* * *
There is a blonde and a brunette that want to
commit suicide, so they climb up the Eiffel tower. The brunette jumps
off,
and the blonde goes to somebody and asks how do you get down.
* * *
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
* * *
Q. How do you know when a blonde is making chocolate
cookies?