Отправляет email-рассылки с помощью сервиса Sendsay

1 английская типичная ошибка в неделю. Только для гурманов.

Рассылка закрыта

При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Английский от Смирнова" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.

Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.

←   Ноябрь 2002   →
 1
 2
 3
 4
 5
 6
 7
 8
 9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Автор
ucmok_peku

Статистика

9.356 подписчиков
-2 за неделю
←   Все выпуски   →

Еженедельные путешествия в мир, который говорит по-английски Humor on the Run (#6)


Информационный Канал Subscribe.Ru
Еженедельные путешествия в мир,
который говорит по-английски 		группа независимых переводчиков
Слово - Dело: www.slovo-delo.ru

Humor on the Run (#6)

Добрый день, уважаемые подписчики. Специально для тех, кто недавно подписался на нашу рассылку сообщаю, что в четверг-пятницу мы делаем выпуск, посвящённый исключительно юмору (анекдоты, шутки и т.д.) на английском языке. Не спешите отписываться! По понедельникам выходит настоящий выпуск, посвящённый каким-нибудь проблемам, трудностям и интересностям английского языка. Так что даже если трудно понимать юмор (всё-таки надеюсь, что вы разберётесь), ждите понедельника. А в середине недели мы отдыхаем, наслаждаясь английским юмором или шуткам на английском языке. Сегодня второй выпуск, посвящённый компьютерному юмору.

* * *

There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, when ... Once I spent all day training a group of managers how to do advanced dbase programming then had to ask the secretary for help because I couldn't figure out how to use her phone to call my office.

* * *

People who use a mouse for the first time are very puzzled : it's moving too quickly, not acurately enough and there is never enough space on the desk to reach the end of the screen. I even saw once a secretary (yes : Yet Another Woman Narration) having not enough space on her desk continuing dragging the mouse on the *wall*!

* * *

There is a story that a few months after the British government decreed that all schools should have a BBC micro, an engineer was called out to one school that had just got a disk drive. They arrived to find a tape cassette jammed in the drive and an eight-year-old standing there saying "I told her not to do it" (of the teacher).

* * *

About a year ago I sent a fax letter to another part of campus. Later in the day came a telephone call from a staff member in the department. "You know," she said, "you sent this to the wrong address. I'm sending it back to you." Which she did.

* * *

This is a true story as it happened to my mother a few (maybe 20) years ago while she worked for a Sears in western Pennsylvania. An elderly man phoned into the service department where my mother worked to complain that the new TV that he just bought was broken. When my mother asked for a description of the problem, the man said, "It quits." A repairman was sent to the home where he found the TV was working just fine. He ran the usual diagnostics on it, and it tested fine, so the serviceman left, telling the man to call back in if it happens again. The very next day the man called in saying that the TV just quits, and it isn't fixed soon he will return it. This time the Service Manager (ta-dah) was sent out to see if he could locate the problem. After testing the TV and finding it in perfect working order, the service manager began asking the man a few questions. "Does it blow any fuses? Do you own a Ham radio? Does this happen at any particular time?" To that last question the man replied, "Yes. Around two o'clock each morning - it plays the national anthem and quits!"

* * *

A Japanese rancher told reporters in Tokyo in July that he herds cattle by outfitting them with pocket pagers (beepers), which he calls from his portable phone. After a week of training, the cows associate the beeping with eating and hustle up for grub.

* * *

My husband and I were doing the spring cleaning a few weeks ago. As we were vacuuming the dust and dead insects off the windowsills so that we could put in the screens, he turned to me and said, "In all my career plans and visions of my future in computer science, this is something I never thought I would be doing -- debugging Windows!"

* * *

While back, Harry was at a local bookstore, browsing through the computer books when he found a book on Windows 95 and the evolution of Chicago. He moved it over to the fiction section.

* * *

My father has ordered, through Microsoft, a copy of Microsoft Office for Macintosh on CD Rom. It has yet to arrive. When he called Microsoft to ask why this was taking so long, they responded that although they currently have a version on diskettes, the CD Rom version hasn't come out yet. My father's response: "Then go to China and buy me a copy!"

* * *

Why is the company known as "Intel"? 'Cause they're only half as INTELigent as they thought they were and Pentium implies that Practically Everyone Now Thinks It's Useless for Math

* * *

Q) Heard what they're calling the PENTIUM replacement chip? A) The Repentium.

* * *

SUBJ: Top Signs You're Addicted to the 'Net'

1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."

3. You name your children Mosaic, Java and Eudora.

4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ... and your child in the overhead compartment.

6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

7. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.

8. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

9. The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.

10. Only communication within your household is through email.

11. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

12. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

13. And even your night dreams are in HTML.

14. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

15. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

16. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

17. You refer to your age as 3.x.

18. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

20. You keep trying to download a pizza from www.dominos.com.

21. You really did ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

22. You come back and check this list every half-hour.

Наш электронный адрес: english@slovo-delo.ru
Сайт группы независимых переводчиков "Слово-Дело" www.slovo-delo.ru - здесь Вы можете посмотреть предыдущие выпуски рассылки.

Мы также выпускаем рассылку для тех, кому интересны
немецкий язык и культура немецкоговорящих стран:

Немецкий быт и образ жизни глазами русского,
или стоит ли бояться немецкого языка?

Для подписки введите Ваш e-mail и нажмите кнопку "Подписаться".

http://subscribe.ru/
E-mail: ask@subscribe.ru 		Отписаться
Убрать рекламу
В избранное