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При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Jewish anecdote" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.

Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.

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Автор
Рабинович

Статистика

4.751 подписчиков
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Служба Рассылок Городского Кота


Служба Рассылок Городского Кота
   Выпуск  22                                Шутки из забугорья                       

Здоровэнькы булы!

   Сияет жаркое летнее солнце, на ветках расположились с песнями и плясками птицы, а наша рассылка размашистыми шагами выходит из вынужденного подполья :0) Как говорится, страда завершилась в пользу крестьян...
   В прошлой рассылке я уделил немного внимания статистике и тенденциям аудитории рассылки. Результат - в тот же день отписались 47 человек... Что ж, намек понят, больше никаких внутренних деталей, только скупое и косноязычное изложение тематического материала :0)
  Далее - победителем сегодня стал Дмитрий Богатырев :

   Отец был на береге с его детьми когда четыре года-старый сын поднимался он, захватывавший его руку, и проведенную его на берег, где чайка клала мертвый в песке. "Папа, что случился с ему?" попрошенный сын. "Он умер и шел в Небо," отвеченный папа. Мальчик думал в течение момента и затем попрошенное, "Папа, Бог бросал его вниз?"

   Ну, а сейчас перед вами, дорогие листатели, очередной номер, посвященный взрослой тематике в мировой культуре. Просьба детям до 16 лет, свободно владеющим английским языком, а также личностям с неуравновешенной психикой, немедленно выкинуть, а лучше сжечь, данный выпуск...

   Дорогие дети! Никогда, никогда не ходите по этой ссылке! :0) http://www.jorikus.newmail.ru/fun/p7.html

   This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says: "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says: "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says: "That won't work." His mom says: "Why not?" The boy replies: "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

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   A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflects on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks her husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replies, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undresses, she asks: "What are you thinking now?" He replies: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

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   Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it. "I waited until I heard the bedsprings squeaking in my folk's bedroom and then I ran in. My father gave me a watch to get rid of me," replied the little friend. Little Johnny, thinking that this was a cool idea goes home and waits until he hears the bedsprings squeaking rhythmically and then runs into his folk's bedroom. "What do YOU want?!" asks the father gruffly. "I want a watch!" says Johnny. "Well then, sit down and shut up!" Dad replies.

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   Harry and his wife were driving in the country when he saw a sign that said, "Cow For Sale...$5000" He pulled in and said to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars." The farmer said, "Oh, yeah? Take a look at this!" He lifted the cow's tail, and Harry saw that the cow had a snatch just like a woman. Harry got back in the car, turned to his wife, and began to cry, "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow that has a snatch like a woman and it's worth $5000. And here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you ain't worth shit!"

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   A farmer and his wife are lying in bed one night when the farmer starts to rub her breasts. He says "If these would only give milk, then we could get rid of our cows." After a few minutes he starts rubbing her bottom. He says "If this would only lay eggs, then we could get rid of our chickens." After a while his wife starts rubbing his penis. She says "If this would only get hard more often, then we could get rid of the farmhand!

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   Вокабулярик

Thump - глухой стук;

to squeak - скрипеть;

to rub - тереть.

                           Keep laughing!    Jorikus
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