54-й выпуск
Доброе время суток, уважаемые читатели моей рассылки!
Очень хотелось бы чтобы вы принимали активное участие в вопросах. Я постараюсь
отвечать в первую очередь на те вопросы, которые придут от Вас как в рассылке,
так и лично Вам по почте - ответ в течение 15 часов гарантирую.
Ответы на вопросы о других странах (не США) требуют немного больше времени.
Пожалуйста, обратите внимание на кодировку, когда Вы пишите письма, часто
я получаю письма, состоящие из знаков. Если у Вас нет возможности использовать
русскую клавиатуру - пишите латиницей. Заранее спасибо.
1-я часть.
ВОПРОС 55.
Какие могут подстерегать опасности уже после того, как приехала к "заграничному"
мужу и какие надо сделать грамотные шаги, что бы "на всякий
случай" обезопасить себя?
ОТВЕТ:
О последствиях брака. Брачный контракт - один из вариантов решения Вашей
проблемы. Если он будет реагировать слишком бурно, спокойно объясните, что
Вам нужны определенные гарантии, так как Вы оставлете на Родиневсе, что имеете
ради брака с ним. Думаю разумный человек примет эти доводы. Это сделать стоит
еще на территории России, тогда вы точно будете представлять себе
условия, в которые Вы попадете. Историй действительно много -
так одна из моих знакомых, заключила брак в послений день пребыванияв США
и подписала контракт, что в случае развода, она не получает ничего.
В случае. если что-то случится с мужем, она не несет ответственности за его
детей, он - за ее дочку.
Вам это надо? Есть миллионеры, которые говорят, что он будет
оплачивать все расходы по ее содержанию, а ребенка пусть она содержит
сама - этой женщине пришлось в первый же месяц идти убирать дома.
2-я часть.
Вопросы, которые стоит обсудить с Вашим женихом до заключения брака, которые
можно впоследствии внести в брачный контракт.
How will you make decisions once you are married?
What will you do when you find you cannot agree?
When you are ill, how much sympathy and attention do you desire? What does being
taken care of look and feel like to you?
How much time do you expect to spend with your friends after you are married?
How will you relate to opposite-sex friends after you are married?
FINANCES
Who will be the primary financial provider in the family?
Do you anticipate both husband and wife pursuing careers? If yes, for how long?
How will you decide on major purchases?
Who will pay the bills and keep the checkbook?
What is your philosophy of giving (to your church or other charitable organizations)
and how will you make decisions about giving?
What are your convictions about the use of credit cards?
HOME
Where do you want to live?
In what setting would you want to live (i.e., city, suburb, small town, rural,
plains, mountains, desert, coastal, etc.)?
What do you expect your standard of living to look like after five years of
marriage?
How soon after you are married do you expect to have your home reasonably furnished?
What does "reasonably furnished" mean to you?
HOUSEKEEPING
Who will prepare each meal and what types of food will you eat?
How important are family mealtimes to you? Why?
How often will you eat out?
How clean do you want your home to be? What does "clean" mean to you?
Who will do each of the following:
Laundry & ironing?
Purchasing groceries?
Automobile maintenance?
Home repairs and yard work?
General household cleaning?
Cleaning bathrooms?
Making the bed?
Do you want a pet in the home? If so, what type?
CHILDREN & PARENTING
What is your attitude toward children?
When will you begin having children and how many would you like to have?
What would you do if you cannot conceive children of your own?
What is your view on abortion?
What is your view on birth control?
Who will be the primary nurturer/caregiver of your children?
How will you discipline your children? How do you envision sharing that responsibility?
SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENT
How often do you want to invite people to your home?
What kind of entertaining do you expect to do (i.e., formal or informal dinner,
lavish or simple parties, etc.)?
How often will you go out on dates?
What will be the role of television in your lives and what guidelines will you
have?
What about movies?
How will your personal friendships (his friends/her friends) change after marriage?
What hobbies or recreational pursuits will you pursue individually? Together?
How often will you pursue them?
How do you feel about having alcoholic beverages in your home?
HOLIDAYS - VACATIONS - SPECIAL OCCASIONS
Where will you spend Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter? How will you decide?
What expectations do you have for celebrating holidays?
What will you do during your vacations?
How will you celebrate birthdays and wedding anniversaries?
How much will you spend on gifts for family, friends and each other?
How will you spend your weekends?
PARENTS & OTHER RELATIVES
How do you think your relationship to your parents will change after you are
married?
How much time do you anticipate spending with your parents and your in-laws?
What other relatives do you expect to be involved in your marriage and family
(siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins)? In what ways would they be involved?
How involved do you want your parents and in-laws to be in your children's lives?
How will you accomplish this?
What type of relationship do you expect to have with your parents and your in-laws
after marriage?
Give five reasons why you think now is the right time to marry each other.
FOR PREVIOUSLY MARRIED
If you are divorced, why did you get a divorce?
Have you sought reconciliation with your former spouse? If so, how? If not,
why not?
Give three reasons you are confident you have gotten over your previous marriage
and are ready to marry again.
Give three reasons you may be unsure.
PARENTAL WISDOM QUESTIONNAIRE
Answer the following questions as if your child is asking them.
What strengths do you see in my life that will help me in marriage?
What weaknesses do you see in my life that will be a challenge for me to work
on and overcome in my marriage?
If you could give me one piece of advice about marriage (based on what you did
right or did wrong), what would it be and why?
What is your best advice to me in the following areas as I embark on this new
adventure called marriage?
Finances
Communication
Sex
Husband/Wife roles
Commitment
Humor
Parenting
Spiritual Growth
Priorities in life
Work
Other
If you could keep just one memory, experience or time together in all of your
married life, what would it be and why?
Is there anything special or meaningful to you that you would like us to include
in the wedding ceremony?
How do you anticipate my relationship with you, as my parents, will change now
that I am marrying and establishing a new family and home?
How would you like us to handle holidays?
If we have children, how involved would you like to be in their lives?
Would you like us to drop in unannounced or call before visiting?
***********Answer the following questions as if your ********
future son-in-law or daughter-in-law is asking them.
What are some qualities you see in me, or know about me, that make you think
I am the right person for your son/daughter to marry?
What unique and personal advice would you give me about your son/daughter that
will help me be the life partner he/she needs?
What would you like me to call you after we are married?
Отдельное спасибо читателям моей рассылки, которые присылают свои вопросы!
ПРИСЫЛАЙТЕ СВОИ ВОПРОСЫ, БУДЕТ ИНТЕРЕСНЕЕ ЧИТАТЬ В БУДУЩЕМ.
Архив рассылки находится здесь:
http://subscribe.ru/archive/rest.love.visak1nevesti/
Хотелось бы также обратить ваше внимание на мой сайт
http://awomanuzbek.narod.ru/woman.html
Этот сайт содержит информацию на английском языке для Ваших мужчин-женихов.
А также является своеобразным архивом для данной рассылки. Там есть ответы на
все заданные здесь вопросы.
Мне очень интересно Ваше мнение и буду признательна за конструктивную критику.
Если у вас возникли вопросы, отправляйте их по следующему адресу:
streletc2000@mail.ru
С уважением,
Виктория