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Автор
Статистика
22.666 подписчиков
-1 за неделю
-1 за неделю
Fluent English - Issue 17 New Year
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Intro Interesting facts Questions Movie strange facts Sayings and thoughts Puns Life, wisdom, moral etc. Quiz for professionals Interesting The biggest lies Jokes |
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| FLUENTENGLISH by Sergey Sirotkin © 2001 | |
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ISSUE 17 NEW YEAR (25)
------------------------------------------- Иностранный язык нужно не учить. Иностранный язык нужно узнавать. ------------------------------------------- учебная рассылка для начинающих и продолжающих |
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| FEDESCRIPTION | |
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ЭТА РАССЫЛКА... ...предназначена для всех желающих углубить свои знания языка международного общения. Она будет полезна как начинающим, так и продолжающим, а также просто интересующимся. Данная рассылка не является учебным пособием, предлагающим "знания по нарастающей", от простого к сложному. Содержание разнообразно и почти независимо от выпуска к выпуску, что имеет большое преимущество: вы можете начать с любого выпуска! Единственное "но": вы должны действительно читать и разбирать материал, а не просто просматривать рассылку. Только тогда ваши знания будут стремиться к fluent English. Рекомендую также по ходу дела заглядывать в словарь, пользоваться сборниками упражнений и другими учебными пособиями. Произношение остается по большей части вашей проблемой и не рассматривается в этой рассылке. Тем не менее, иногда попадаются советы и по этой теме. |
| FENEWS | |
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NEW YEAR Меня всегда прикалывала фраза "С Новым годом, с новым счастьем". Вторая ее часть, я имею в виду. Вчера у нас было одно счастье, а сегодня — другое, новое. А если вчера счастья не было? И что это за понятие вообще — "новое счастье"? Что-то я отвлекся... От имени всей нашей F.E.Team хочу поздравить вас, наши дорогие и горячо любимые читатели, с Новым годом. И пожелать вам счастья. Нет... Пожелать вам Счасться. Вот так. A Happy New Year to each and all! A Happy New Year to you! Let the sun come in hands and your hearts like a ball, And let all your dreams come true! We wish you be beautiful, merry again, We wish you good luck and good friends, We wish you be happy this year, and this day, And the whole your life till the end! A MODERN-DAY, POLITICALLY CORRECT HOLIDAY GREETING Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishees. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. WEB-SITE NEWS http://fluent-english.narod.ru Если вы только что подписались или по каким-либо другим причинам не видели предыдущих выпусков, настоятельно рекомендую посетить сайт проекта FLUENTENGLISH, где вы всегда сможете найти архив рассылки. Выпуски содержат массу полезной информации. Кроме того, на сайте вам могут быть интересны разделы Links, Downloads и Discussion Group. Да и другие разделы, собственно, тоже. CONTACT ME Вопросы, комментарии, предложения, отзывы, критику, исправления, дополнения и т.д. присылайте по электронной почте: fluent_english@tut.by. |
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FLUENT ENGLISH Расскажите о проекте, сайте, рассылке и дискуссионной группе друзьям и знакомым, соседям и родственникам! Официальный сайт и официальный архив: http://fluent-english.narod.ru Теперь у вас есть возможность реализовать собственные идеи и принять участие в нашем проекте! Присоединяйтесь к F.E.Team! |
| FLUENTENGLISHLESSON | |
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INTRO В этом выпуске нет грамматической информации. Сплошная развлекуха... На английском, разумеется. :) up INTERESTING FACTS .: It has been estimated that in the last 3,500 years there have been only 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world. .: A famous passage in an old edition of Britannica: "The Russian Tsar Ivan IV Groznyi, called Vasilievich for his cruelty..." .: The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards. .: Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason. .: Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head." .: The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. .: Coca-Cola was originally green. .: Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. .: First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer. .: A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. .: The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable". .: Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar. up QUESTIONS .: Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? .: Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? .: If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? .: Isn't Disney World a People Trap Operated by a Mouse? .: Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? .: Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? .: How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! .: If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? up MOVIE STRANGE FACTS .: The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. .: Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. .: All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. .: When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey. .: You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. .: When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. .: Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. .: All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software. .: Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. .: When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons. .: If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water. .: If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at the age of 22. up SAYINGS AND THOUGHTS .: If you can't afford a lawyer who really knows the law, get one who knows the judge. .: You alone can do it, but you can't do it alone. .: You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. .: The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. .: Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge." .: My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. .: My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. .: Those who can, do! Those who can't, teach! And those who can't teach, become critics. .: All roads lead away from Rome, but people just walk along them the wrong way. .: Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough. .: As I said before, I never repeat myself. .: I bet you I could stop gambling. .: As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. up PUNS Fascinate A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Marta said, "My family went to the Louisville Zoo, and it was fascinating to see all the animals." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word "fascinate.'" Sarita raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Cincinnati Zoo and I was fascinated by the animals." "That's good, too," said the teacher, "but I wanted the word "fascinate.'" Little Billy raised his hand and said proudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but it is so small she can only fasten eight." Tense An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students' written work. She wasn't sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples. A student asked, "What's the matter, Ms. Dalton?" "Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state. After a slight pause the student tried again, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter?" Dogrose The teacher was telling the class about plants that have the word "dog" in front of them: dogrose, dogwood, dog violet. She asked the class if they could name another flower with the prefix "dog." Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure, Miss Jones, a collie-flower!" up LIFE, WISDOM, MORAL etc. How to make money If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49. If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit, you would have $79. So the advice is to start drinking heavily. Moral Question This is an imaginary situation, but it is interesting to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Midwest, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and infrastructures destroyed. Let's say that you're a photographer out getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across the Reverend Jessie Jackson who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question, and think carefully before you answer the question below. Which lens would you use? Redneck Birth Control After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough. So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both doctors couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand. up QUIZ FOR PROFESSIONALS This short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional". Scroll down for each answer. The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? . . . . . . . The correct answer: open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? . . . . . . . Wrong answer: open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct answer: open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? . . . . . . . Correct answer: the elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? . . . . . . . Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old. up INTERESTING The First Christmas Card по материалам EnglishClub.com Today, we send millions of Christmas cards every year. But in fact the Christmas card is a relatively modern invention. In the Middle Ages, European wood engravers produced prints with religious themes. But the first real Christmas card, as we understand the term today, was designed in London, England in 1840. It went on sale in 1843. The designer was John Callcott Horsley, a well known British painter and member of the Royal Academy. He designed the card at the suggestion of his friend Sir Henry Cole, who was the first director of the Victoria & Albert Museum. Horsley produced 1,000 cards and offered them for sale at 1s (one shilling) each. They were printed on stiff card and colored by hand, with the greeting: "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You". The card shows three pictures: in the center, a family party; to one side the hungry receiving food; to the other side the poor being clothed. Puritans immediately denounced the card, since it showed people drinking in the family party. But with most people the idea was a great success and the Christmas card quickly became very popular. Christmas cards were not the first greeting cards. Since 1796, with improvements in printing, merchants had been sending cards to their customers offering "best wishes" for the new year. In many countries, Christmas cards gradually became even more popular than New Year's cards. As Christmas is the birthday of Jesus Christ, cards often show scenes of His nativity. Others show images associated with Christmas such as wintry scenes of snow-laden pines, Father Christmas (Santa Claus), stars, candles or holly. The traditional greeting written on a Christmas card is "Merry Christmas", but many other greetings are also used, such as "Happy Xmas" or "Happy Noel". You can see the original Christmas card at: http://www.englishclub.net/e-cards/christmas/first.htm Mini-vocabulary His - his (a capital 'H' is often used for God or Jesus) laden - heavily loaded or weighed down Middle Ages - period of European history from AD 1000 to 1453 nativity - birth of a child the Nativity - the birth of Jesus Christ Noel - Christmas (from the French) puritan - person with very strict moral beliefs the hungry - hungry people the poor - poor people Xmas - Christmas (informal, X is initial 'chi' in Greek Khristos) up THE BIGGEST LIES sent by Natalya Yalunina Here is the list of the most commonly told lies. Didn't you notice you tell 'em as well? .: The check is in the mail. .: I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. .: It's only a cold sore. .: You get this one, I'll pay next time. .: Trust me, I'll take care of everything. .: Of course I love you. .: I never inhaled. .: It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing. .: ...but we can still be good friends. .: She means nothing to me. .: Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty". .: Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone. .: I'll call you later. .: We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year. .: I've never done anything like this before. .: Now, I'm going to tell you the truth. .: It's supposed to make that noise. .: I love your new hat/haircut/dress/suit...! .: Yes, I did. up JOKES What's the difference? Q: What is the difference between ignorance and indifference? A: I don't know and I don't care. Big Business A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!" The Happiest Day The day before wedding. Fiance's uncle says, "Today is the happiest day in your life, my boy!" "But wedding will be just tomorrow?!" says the young man. Uncle says, "That's what I mean!" Horse A man asked a vet how to feed a horse with demulcent. "Just take a pipe, put the powder in, then put the pipe between horse's teeth and blow the stuff in," said the vet. Later the man was found on the ground in the stable. "What happened? Did the horse lash you out?" he was asked. "No," was the reply. "Did it bite you?" "No." "So what happened then?!" "The horse blew before I did..." News Wife comes home and founds her husband reading a newspaper as usually. He doesn't even give her a glance. She says, "Should I tell you what have happened to our car or you would prefer to read about that in tomorrow's news?" Silence Doctor: "Please show me your tongue." She does. Doctor (giving her a piece of paper): "Here is your prescription!" She: "But Doc, you haven't even looked at my tongue!" Doctor: "That's ok. I just needed your silence for I could finish writing the prescription." Who Is The Boss? The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!" Thank You When told to write a paper with the title: 'What I Am Grateful for on Thanksgiving Day, a little boy wrote, "I am thankful I am not the turkey." A Great Artist A starving artist was complaining to his landlord. "Twenty years from now people will come by here just to look at this house and say, Joe the famous writer once lived here.'" The landlord was not impressed. "Listen, son, if you don't pay your rent they'll be saying that day after tomorrow." With a wave of my hand The Pope and the Queen of England are sitting next to each other in front of a large crowd. The Queen turns to the Pope and says, "With the wave of my hand I can make everyone cheer." She then waves her hand and the crowd cheers aloud. The Pope nudges the Queen and says, "With a wave of my hand I can make every Irishman cheer." "Really?" she replies. "Frankly, I'm not sure how." The Pope grins to himself, and then slaps her across the face. Relatives A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." Grizzly Bear After a number of attacks on hikers and campers in Alaska, the Department of Fish and Game released the following advisory: We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between Black Bear and Grizzly Bear poop. Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper. |
| FESIGNATURE | |
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Sergey Sirotkin,
freelance translator Special thanks to Natalya Belinsky for proofreading. Please feel free to ask questions, send your comments, report found mistakes or just write me whatever you want: fluent_english@tut.by. Your feedback is very important! I wish you every success in getting to know English! |
| FLUENTENGLISH by Sergey Sirotkin © 2001 | |
| fluent_english@tut.by | |
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