Рассылка закрыта
При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Jewish anecdote" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.
Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.
Шутки из забугорья
| Выпуск 33 | Шутки из забугорья |
Всем огромный привет!
Особено хочу поприветствовать более чем 600 новых подписчиков. Я очень надеюсь, что вы нашли то, что искали и с легкостью вольетесь в наш небольшой, но дружный коллектив :0) Ну что, поехали?
A man called his mother in Florida. He said to his mother, "How are you doing?" She said, "Not too good. I've been very weak." The son then asked why she was so weak. She said it was because she hadn't eaten in 38 days. The son then asked, "How come you haven't eaten in 38 days?" She said, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food when you called."
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Irv and Sol are walking down the street when Sol turns to Irv and says, "Irv, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of that, exactly the same, would you give me one?" Irv says, "Sol, how long do we go back? Thirty years? We've been best friends since school, and if I had two of those Mercedes, top-of-the-line cars with all the trimmings, exactly the same, yeah, I would give the other one to you." So, they keep walking. After a couple of minutes, Irv turns to Sol and says, "Sol, if you had two of those luxury, playboy-type yachts, you know, with all the modern conveniences, and they were exactly the same, would you give one of them to me?" Sol says, "Irv, you and me are like brothers, you were best man at my wedding, you attended my son's Bar Mitzvah, we have gone to the same shul together for all these years. If I had two of those luxury playboy yachts, exactly the same with all the modern conveniences, then yeah Irv, I really would give the other one to you." They keep walking. A couple of minutes later, Sol turns to Irv, "Irv, if you had two chickens..." "Now hold on there! Sol, you KNOW I've got two Chickens!"
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|A doctor is making a routine call to one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson replies, "I feel just fine, Doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pee, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old guy is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Johnson, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." Mrs. Johnson yells, "STEVEN! Dad's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"
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Вокабулярик
to get senile - заполучить старческий маразм;
a cast - (здесь) гипс;
a drainpipe - водосточная труба.
Keep laughing!
Jorikus
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