Marriage in Britain
Marriage developed in Britain in the Middle Ages when the Church found it necessary
to create ceremonies and legislation to make marriage a legal contract. This
established the tradition we have today of public ceremonies in the presence
of a priest and witnesses.
The wedding ceremony in Britain in the 21st Century is made up of traditions,
folklore and ritual. These go back to the Middle Ages. It was believed that evil
spirits were very close to people during rites of passage (the marking of the
end of one life and the beginning of the next) so it was very important for good
luck charms and rituals to be used to keep the bride and groom safe on their
wedding day and to ensure their future happiness.
A marriage in Britain can be a religious ceremony or a civil ceremony. A religious
ceremony is conducted in a Church, whilst a civil ceremony can be in a Registry
Office or any place that has been licensed to hold civil ceremonies, which can
now be as diverse as a British Zoo or in a British double-decker bus.
The Proposal and Engagement
In the Middle Ages a single woman was very valuable to her family - to do the
housework and work in the fields - so many families didn't want to let their
single daughters leave the family to get married. Therefore it became a tradition
for the groom to formally ask the girl's father for her hand in marriage as a
sign of respect to the family for the loss of their daughter. In the Middle Ages
a gold ring was given to the family in payment for the bride.
Nowadays the proposal is usually made directly to the woman, but an engagement
ring is still placed on the third finger of the left hand as a sign of the intent
to marry.
Traditionally the bride and groom-to-be held separate parties before the wedding.
the groom would feast with his male friends on the night before his wedding to
celebrate ending his time as a bachelor. This was known as a stag party. Meanwhile
a woman's hen party was her way of leaving her old life and her girlfriends gathered
to offer advice and support to the new bride.
The Ceremony
The bride traditionally always wore a white dress as a sign of virginity. In
the Middle Ages the colour was associated with joy and was also thought to frighten
off evil spirits. It was believed that the bride should never let her groom see
her in her wedding dress before the wedding. Because marriages were often arranged,
the groom was not allowed to see the bride - in case he changed his mind - until
the legal ceremony was over, so the bride always wore a veil over her face.
In the church the bride's family sits on one side whilst the groom's family sits
on the other. This goes back to the time when a girl of one tribe would be offered
by her father as a peace offering to another tribe. The tribes had to be kept
separate in case someone started a fight.
The groom waits at the front of the church with his 'best man' - a close friend
who has the job of looking after the wedding rings and making sure the ceremony
goes smoothly. The bride's father walks down the aisle with his daughter to 'give
her away' to her husband-to-be. They are usually followed by bridesmaids. This
comes from another old tradition: the bride's best friends dressed in the same
clothes as her so that evil spirits would not know which person to choose.
The priest reads out the wedding vows which the couple repeat and accept the
vows. After the marriage ceremony the bride and groom are asked to kiss. This
is a way of showing that they are accepting the contract of marriage. They then
exchange rings. The tradition of placing the wedding ring on the third finger
of the left hand is because of the ancient belief that the vein in the third
finger ran directly to the heart, so wearing rings on that finger joined the
couple's hearts and destinies. The unbroken circle is also an age old symbol
of eternity.
After The Ceremony
As the couple leave the church they are showered with confetti. In Pagan times
rice and grain was usually thrown at the bride and groom to represent fertility.
This has been changed to paper and dried flowers. It is a tradition for the bride
to throw away her bridal bouquet of flowers as she leaves the church. It is believed
that whoever catches it will be the next to marry.
After the ceremony the guests join the couple for the 'wedding breakfast', the
first meal they eat together as man and wife. There are usually a lot of speeches
and toasts. The wedding cake is cut by the bride and groom to represent sharing
their new life together.
As the couple left to set off on their honeymoon, shoes were traditionally tied
to the car. The shoe was considered to be a symbol of the bride's father passing
responsibility for his daughter onto her husband. Later other things were tied
to the car to make a lot of noise as the couple drove off.
Returning from their honeymoon to start a new life together, traditionally the
bride was carried into the house by her groom because the doorway of houses were
believed to contain evil spells. The groom had to carry his bride over the evil
spirits in order for her to start her new life safely.
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