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Реальный английский

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Реальный английский


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«Реальный английский»
выпуск № 58
Уроки онлайн  |   Грамматика  |   Тесты  |   Игры и развлечения  

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Тексты песен
Любители караоке, объединяйтесь!

Найдите текст любимой песни и насладитесь любимыми мотивами!
Уверены, вы не только улучшите свое настроение, но и повысите лексический запас, в общем, с пользой для дела проведете время!

Теперь песни группы Linkin Park и Enrique Iglesias можно не только видеть, но и слышать в формате mp3!

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Умные мысли
Анекдоты на английском языке

1) A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.
"My love," he wrote "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted? "
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you learn to play this?"
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!"
She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica."

2) A woman is shopping for a pet as a gift for her husband, but she is concerned that the prices that the Pet Shop are charging are very high. She goes to the clerk and explains her concern. "Well, I have a frog in the back that I can let you have for $50," the clerk says.
"$50?" the woman replies. "That seems terribly expensive for a frog."
"Well, this frog is worth it. It's been trained to give blow jobs."
The woman is stunned, but because her husband loves this sort of sex, and because she is not particularly fond of it, she decides the frog might be a good investment. She buys the frog, brings it home, presents it to her husband, and explains its special value.
The husband is sceptical, but promises he'll give the frog a try that night. The woman goes to sleep happily knowing she won't be bothered by her husband that night.
She is suddenly awakened by a clatter coming from the kitchen. She goes downstairs and finds the frog and her husband pulling out pots and pans and poring over cookbooks.
"What are you two doing down here?" she asks.
Her husband responds, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're out of here!"

3) A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."
To which his father replied... "Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"

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Аналитика
10 советов для выбора курсов английского языка за рубежом

...Итак, вы решили изучать английский в одной из стран, где этот язык является родным. Ирландия, Великобритания, США, Новая Зеландия, Австралия, Канада и так далее. Каким же образом выбрать ту или иную страну?

Ваш выбор должен определяться вашими собственными приоритетами и планами на будущее. Почему вы хотите изучать английский? Нужен ли вам язык для дальнейшей учебы зарубежом? Если так, то в какой стране вы планируете учиться? Или же английский вам необходим для того, чтобы сделать карьеру в своей стране? В этом случае наиболее важный критерий — это то, какой вариант английского используется чаще всего в этой области, может американский вариант будет наиболее оптимальным? Если нет, подумайте, какая форма английского языка будет самой полезной и приемлемой для вашей будущей работы.

Вот 10 практических советов для выбора школы, которая подойдет именно вам...

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Афиша Форум

Москва, 3-15 июля

"Эван Всемогущий"
кинотеатр "Под куполом"
на английском языке перевод через наушники


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