Of the
eclectic elite invited to celebrate Kate Moss's birthday party, the
snooker player, was perhaps the most unexpected. We don't know what has
brought them together, but we reckon that the varied entertainments
provided by Kate must beat a night on the baize, however many times
you pot the
black.
A
glorious tag to describe
those elaborate headpieces made
of feathers seen at Royal Ascot, where they (or any other sort of hat) are
compulsory under a new dress code, which also bans bare midriffs. The Queen,
we reckon, will follow this with ease. Some of her subjects, however, may
struggle.
Sarah
Green
Initially, it must have seemed unfortunate to the
actress-turned-teacher, when her class found an old advert in which she
simulates sex with a builder. It was made to advertise his protective
clothing. She's now been suspended from
school. Still, the cachet she'll have
earned - among the little ones - will surely help once, or if, she gets
back to the classroom.
Long
legs
It's
official: the New Scientist magazine says they're scientifically more
attractive. They denote good health and a prosperous background. Or - and
please forgive our simplicity - that you're tall.
We hate
to blame a man who did so much for the nation's culture, but the former
BBC boss and sometime Tony Blair
aide was recently
asked to help EMI look after its talent. Since when the
talent has been vanishing ...
Jamie
Oliver
A farmer
eating at the chef's Fifteen Cornwall restaurant has complained that the
eggs used there were battery
farmed. This is embarrassing as Oliver is at the front of a TV series
about the evils of battery farming. He was quick to shift the blame to
staff, saying: 'Heads will roll.' Come now, Jamie, collective
responsibility, please.
Geography
The
subject is becoming increasingly unpopular, according to recent figures,
because fewer field trips are being arranged by staff concerned about
health and safety regulations. Back in the day when we could climb around
without a lawsuit in sight, everyone was up for studying oxbow
lakes. These days, you have to be content with a diagram.
Elizabeth Hurley
A year
after Liz tied the knot with Arun Nayar in Gloucestershire, a new set of
kneelers
promised as payment to the church still hasn't arrived. The local parish was never very
happy because it would have preferred cash, but now it has learnt how to
hit Liz where it really hurts: by moaning to the
press.