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Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии. 103


Weekly news from UK
  

Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии

Выпуск 103 22 января 2008г. описание форум архив e-mail

 

Sunday January 13-20, 2008

The Observer

 

A good week for ...

 

Jimmy White

Of the eclectic elite invited to celebrate Kate Moss's birthday party, the snooker player, was perhaps the most unexpected. We don't know what has brought them together, but we reckon that the varied entertainments provided by Kate must beat a night on the baize, however many times you pot the black.

 

Substantial  fascinators

A glorious tag to describe those elaborate headpieces made of feathers seen at Royal Ascot, where they (or any other sort of hat) are compulsory under a new dress code, which also bans bare midriffs. The Queen, we reckon, will follow this with ease. Some of her subjects, however, may struggle.

 

Sarah Green

Initially, it must have seemed unfortunate to the actress-turned-teacher, when her class found an old advert in which she simulates sex with a builder. It was made to advertise his protective clothing. She's now been suspended from school. Still, the cachet she'll have earned - among the little ones - will surely help once, or if, she gets back to the classroom.

 

Long legs

It's official: the New Scientist magazine says they're scientifically more attractive. They denote good health and a prosperous background. Or - and please forgive our simplicity - that you're tall.

 

 



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A bad week for ...

 

John Birt

We hate to blame a man who did so much for the nation's culture, but the former BBC boss and sometime Tony Blair aide was recently asked to help EMI look after its talent. Since when the talent has been vanishing ...

 

Jamie Oliver

A farmer eating at the chef's Fifteen Cornwall restaurant has complained that the eggs used there were battery farmed. This is embarrassing as Oliver is at the front of a TV series about the evils of battery farming. He was quick to shift the blame to staff, saying: 'Heads will roll.' Come now, Jamie, collective responsibility, please.

 

Geography

The subject is becoming increasingly unpopular, according to recent figures, because fewer field trips are being arranged by staff concerned about health and safety regulations. Back in the day when we could climb around without a lawsuit in sight, everyone was up for studying oxbow lakes. These days, you have to be content with a diagram.

 

Elizabeth Hurley

A year after Liz tied the knot with Arun Nayar in Gloucestershire, a new set of kneelers promised as payment to the church still hasn't arrived. The local parish was never very happy because it would have preferred cash, but now it has learnt how to hit Liz where it really hurts: by moaning to the press.

 


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