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Курсы английского в интернет.

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Курсы английского в интернет. Обучение английскому языку через язык шуток


 

Изучение английского языка на интернет курсах

 

The Institute of Informational and Management Technologies, Москва

КУРСЫ АНГЛИЙСКОГО ОНЛАЙН: www.5English.com

Свидетельство о регистрации  09.08.2000 №05387311
 

Добрый день дорогие друзья.
 

В этом номере рассылки мы продолжим обучение английскому языку через язык шуток и веселых историй
 

A 59-year-old man began to dress after his physical. "Doc," he began, "do  you think I'll make it another forty-one years so that I can reach 100?"

"Do you smoke?" the doctor asked.

"No," the patient replied.

"Do you drink?"

"No."

"Do you fool around with women?"

"Of course not!"

"Well, then." the physician wondered aloud, "why the hell would you WANT to live another 41 years?"

 

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What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every race?

The letter e.

 

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A man and his buddy were playing golf when they noticed a funeral procession going by. The man steps back away from the tee, removes his hat and places it over his heart until the parade of cars has gone by.

"Hey," said his buddy, "that was really nice of you to pay your respects like that."

"It's the least I could do," said the guy. "After all, we were married for 35 years."

 

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A very rich man, who was very close to his money, got together with his closest friends one day, who happened to be a Priest, a Doctor, and a Lawyer . The Rich Man was very old, and getting older, and was thinking about his approaching death. He told his three friends this, and asked them to do a favor for him when he died.

"Here are three envelopes; each contains $100,000, one for each of you. I don't wish to go to the afterlife without my money. Please, when I am buried, would each of you throw your envelopes into the grave on top of my coffin?"

 

The three friends agreed, and took the envelopes. Sure enough, the Rich Man soon died. At his funeral, the Doctor, the Priest and the Lawyer threw their envelopes on his coffin.

As they were leaving the funeral, the Priest said to the others, "I have a confession to make. The church needed a new altar badly, so I... I took $5,000 to buy it," and looked at his feet.

The Doctor said, "Well, since you've admitted it, I too must confess that I took some money. The children's hospital where I work needed a new, expensive X-ray machine, so I took $30,000 to buy it."

The Doctor and the Priest both turned to the lawyer, expecting a similar confession. Instead, he said "Oh no, I didn't take any of the money. I put a check for the entire $100,000 in the envelope!"

 

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A kid with a few packages in his arms asked a passerby, "Will you open the gate for me?"

The passerby said, "Of course, sonny."

The kid replied," Thanks. The gate was just painted and I didn't want to get my hands messy."

 
На сегодня все. Читайте нашу рассылку.
 

По материалам Института информационных и управленческих технологий
www.5English.com
"Интернет Курсы Английского Языка, Проверенные  Временем и Людьми"
Институт информационных и управленческих технологий - мы научим Вас английскому языку, где бы Вы ни жили на Земле!
 
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