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Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии. 106


Weekly news from UK
  
 

Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии

Выпуск 106 11 февраля 2008г. описание форум архив e-mail

 

 

Sunday February 3-10, 2008

The Observer

 

A good week for ...

 

Prince Charles
As a cost-cutting, environment-saving measure, the royal philosopher has hired a yacht for a trip round the Caribbean. Such is the normal cost of his jaunts that the prince has managed this feat by securing one of the most expensive boats in the world (at a bargain price). So Charlie wins. And we win too. Makes you feel warm all over doesn't it?

 

Margaret Thatcher
The Iron Lady, played by the peerless Lindsay Duncan, is to be the subject of a BBC drama which will portray her favourably as a feminist brought down by her male cabinet. Dear Lady T, a sister after all.

 

'Round' children
After a great deal of research, scientists have declared that the plumper sorts among our children are not especially to blame for their plumpness. Genes are to blame, apparently. Pork pies and pop all round.

 

Cherie Blair
Some said it was for Tony, but it turns out the new eco-friendly Jaguar left outside Blair Towers was loaned to Cherie for an extended test drive. The Top Gear triumvirate must be bracing themselves for the challenge.

 

Mr Loophole
The solicitor best known for getting celebrities off driving raps in court has successfully trademarked his nickname. Well done, old boy, you must be top full of pride.

 

Damien Hirst
The Brit artist has will be opening an art shop in Marylebone, London. You'll be able to pop in and pick up a plastic skull for a snip at £25,000. Form that steady queue ...

 

 


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A bad week for ...

 

 

National debt
Thanks to the effective nationalisation of Northern Rock, we feel a little bit poorer after last week. We're highly delighted, of course, by the Treasury's assurance that it's just a temporary shouldering of £100bn of the bank's liabilities.

 

Britney Spears
We Will Rock You, the musical based on the songs of Queen and scripted by Ben Elton, used to include disobliging references to Britney Spears. Because of her ongoing, ahem  слушайте и повторяйте, difficulties, the producers have decided to expurgate these and replace them with references to Posh.

 

Heather Mills
The soon-to-be-former Lady McCartney is being sued by her solicitors for non-payment of their fees. Which now means she is up against Danny Davis, Mishcon de Reya's formidable head of insolvency. Fighting a lawyer for money? There are easier gigs.

 

Grange Hill
Our favourite school soap is coming off air. The show no longer works, say execs - life in real schools has become so vivid that it can't be reflected in a pre-watershed drama. Yikes  слушайте и повторяйте.

 

Friendship
Not worth much, according to new research, at least where sex is concerned: 44 per cent of women fancy their best friend's partner and 33 per cent would do something about it if they had the chance ... Steady on, ladies.

 

The Queen
While her son has had good news, the Boss has received something of a knock-back. She asked for help to the tune of £3m (and got £1m) to repair crumbling Buckingham Palace and had her request turned down. Watch the gutters, ma'am.

 

 


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