Clarence Lee from Tennessee
Loved the commercials he saw on TV.
He watched with wide believing eyes
And bought everything they advertised -
Cream to make his skin feel better,
Spray to make his hair look wetter,
Bleach to make his white things whiter,
Stylish jeans that fit much tighter.
Toothpaste for his cavities,
Powder for his doggie's fleas,
Purple mouthwash for his breath,
Deodorant to stop his sweat.
He bought each cereal they presented,
Bought each game that they invented.
Then one day he looked and saw:
"A brand-new Maw, a better Paw!
New, improved in every way -
Hurry, order yours today!"
So, of course, our little Clarence
Sent off for two brand-new parents.
The new ones came in the morning mail,
The old ones he sold at a garage sale.
And now they all are doing fine:
His new folks treat him sweet and kind,
His old ones work in an old coal mine.
So if your Maw and Paw are mean
And make you eat your lima beans,
And make you wash and make you wait
And never let you stay up late
And scream and scold and preach and pout,
That simply means they're wearing out.
So send off for two brand-new parents
And you'll be as happy as little Clarence.
The host of a luxurous mansion-house at a supper party stands up with a glass of a wine and addresses his guests with the following: "Dear friends. I'll not call you "ladies and gentlemen" because I know you too well".
Он их слишком хорошо знает
За ужином в роскошном особняке хозяин поднимает бокал и говорит собравшимся гостям: "Дорогие друзья! Я не обращаюсь к Вам "леди и джентельмены", потому что очень хорошо всех вас знаю".
Период выхода всех трех рассылок - 2-3 дня.
Самые смешные анекдоты на английском - анекдоты на английском языке. При необходимости печатается перевод сложных слов.
Самый смешной анекдот дня - просто очень смешные анекдоты, которые мне удалось найти в сети.
Красивая поэзия на каждый день - интересные стихотворения, написанные как известными поэтами, так и еще никому не известными современниками.
 
Возможно у вас есть чем пополнить сайт Английский для каждого, буду очень рад каждому письму.