Рассылка закрыта
При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Jewish anecdote" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.
Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.
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Статистика
-8 за неделю
Шутки из забугорья
| Выпуск 38 | Шутки из забугорья |
Денек добрый!
Закружившись в водовороте бытия я и не заметил, как пролетело время после выхода последнего выпуска. Посему с извинениями наверстываю упущенное :0)
Casey came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife said, "What's the problem?" He said, "The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life." She said, "So what? Lots of people have to take a pill every day their whole lives." He said, "I know, but he only gave me four pills!"
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|
One man's hobby was fishing; he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes, but my idiot husband still went fishing!"
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
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The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... *anything*!!!" He returns her gaze. "Anything???" "Yes...Anything!!!" His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|
Вокабулярик
to sue - предъявлять иск;
whorehouse - публичный дом;
pleadingly - умоляюще;
to gaze - пристально смотреть.
Keep laughing!
Jorikus
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