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Самые смешные анекдоты на английском языке


Самые смешные анекдоты на английском языке

Monthly Best Jokes

Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really *really* hard." So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground six stories below. Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the hell happened?!?" Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him."


The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.


Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.


A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."


My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
(Try this one with your students the next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.

 

Фильмы на английском языке с субтитрами в интернет-магазине "English4U":

  1. Pianist (Пианист) (3 Оскара и ещё 35 наград!)
  2. 500 Days of Summer (500 дней лета)
  3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Вечное сияние чистого разума)
  4. Proposal (Предложение)
  5. Up (Вверх)
  6. Revolutionary Road (Дорога перемен)
  7. The Departed (Отступники)
  8. The Hangover (Мальчишник в Вегасе)
  9. Australia (Австралия)
  10. Two Lovers (Два любовника)
  11. Inglourious Basterds (Бесславные ублюдки)
  12. Public Enemies (Джонни Д.)
  13. Requiem For A Dream (Реквием по мечте)
  14. The Surrogates (Суррогаты)
  15. Knowing (Знамение)
  16. Jennifer's Body (Тело Дженнифер)

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Архив рассылки: Best English Jokes
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