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Самые смешные анекдоты на английском языке

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Самые смешные анекдоты на английском языке

Some Very Bright Women 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong 3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner 4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -Rita Rudner 5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman 6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck 7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing 'em. -Sue Grafton 8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr 9. I think, therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead 10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler 11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson 12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda Radner 13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher 14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem 15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. -Glori Steinhem 16. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. -Marie Corelli 17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. -Baroness Edith Summerskill 18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee 19. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Адрес должен быть действующим, на него сразу после регистрации будет отправлено письмо с инструкциями и кодом подтверждения. {#/if} {#/template js_tmpl_auth_reg_descr} {#template js_tmpl_soc_auth_reg_descr} Или зарегистрируйтесь через социальную сеть. {#/template js_tmpl_soc_auth_reg_descr} {#template js_tmpl_auth_reg_soc} <div class="rg_soc"> {#if $P.login_register_tab == 1} <a onclick="return _checkSocConfirm(event)" href="https://oauth.vk.com/authorize?client_id=3954260&scope=wall,offline,photos,groups,video,audio,email&redirect_uri={location.protocol+'//'+location.host}/member/login/vk/&response_type=code&v=5.15" class="login_register_vk_button"> <span class="login_register_vk_icon"></span> </a> {#/if} {#if $P.login_register_tab == 2} <a onclick="return _checkSocConfirm(event)" href="https://oauth.vk.com/authorize?client_id=3954260&scope=wall,offline,photos,groups,video,audio,email&redirect_uri={location.protocol+'//'+location.host}/member/join/vk&response_type=code&v=5.15" class="login_register_vk_button"> <span class="login_register_vk_icon"></span> </a> {#/if} </div> {#/template js_tmpl_auth_reg_soc}

{#template MAIN} <div id="loginForm" style="display:none;" class="subscriberu_popup"> <div class="popup_register"> {#include js_tmpl_auth_reg_tab} <dl class="rg_block_options"> <dt id="js_tap_panel_auth"> <p class="rg_description">{#include js_tmpl_auth_reg_descr}</p> <div class="clr"> </div> {#include js_tmpl_auth_reg_action} <div class="clr"> </div> </dt> </dl> </div> <!-- <div class="gray_bg register_shadow"></div> --> </div> {#/template MAIN} {#template js_tmpl_auth_reg_tab} <ul class="rg_nav"> <li id="js_tab_reg" class="rg_active_nav rg_first_nav"><a href="" onclick="return false;" >Регистрация</a></li> </ul> <span onclick="hidebo();" class="rg_closed"> </span> {#/template js_tmpl_auth_reg_tab} {#template js_tmpl_auth_reg_descr} <strong>Пожалуйста, подтвердите ваш адрес.</strong><br><br>Вам отправлено письмо для подтверждения вашего адреса {$P.register_confirm_mail}.<br>Для подтверждения адреса перейдите по ссылке из этого письма. {#/template js_tmpl_auth_reg_descr} {#template js_tmpl_auth_reg_action} <div class="rg_forms confirm_code_from_letter"> <div class="rg_for_input"> <span class="rg_inp_descr" style="width:15em;">Или введите код из письма:</span> <input type="text" value="" id="confirm_code" name="" data-js_submit="yes" data-js_action="js_confirmFormBut" class="js_keydown_selector rg_input_text_conf" > </div> <div class="rg_for_input"><label>Не пришло письмо? <b>Пожалуйста, проверьте папку Спам</b><br /> (папку для нежелательной почты).</label><br />  <a href="" onclick="ajax_recall_code();return false" >Вышлите мне письмо еще раз!</a></div> <div class="rg_for_input"> <em class="reg_error" id="confirm_msg"></em> <a href="#" class="button button-red" id="js_confirmFormBut">Готово</a> <div class="loading loading-cover" style="display: none;"><div class="loader"></div></div> <br> </div> </div> {#/template js_tmpl_auth_reg_action}