The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU rather than German. As part of the
negotiations,
Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement
and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as
"EuroEnglish".
In the 1-st year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the
"k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There
will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome
"ph"
will be replased with the "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.
In the 3-rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach
the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkourage
the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is
disgraseful
and they should go away. By the 4-th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze 5-z year, ze
unesesary
"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors
be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis 5-z yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi
tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!
AND ZEN VE VIL TAK AL OVER ZE VORLD!!!
................................
Сайт Листа - http://english4.ru
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