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Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии. 100


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Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии

Выпуск 100 30 декабря 2007г. описание форум архив e-mail

 

Sunday December 30, 2007

 Quotes of 2007

 

Did they really say that? 

Wit, wisdom, insight, insults, envy, delusion, good sex and no sex. Words didn't often fail the great and the not-so good

 

The respect agenda

 

'I hate being respected. It makes me feel so uncomfortable.'

Helen Mirren gets used to the fallout from having played the Queen. We'll try to stop being so nice about her next year.

 

The body politic

 

'In Iran, we don't have homosexuals like in your country.'

President Ahmadinejad to students at Columbia University. The sentence was left out of the translation of his speech issued by the Iranian government, possibly because Iranians are aware that they do have gay nationals - they are hanged in public.

 

'For lunch, he loves cinnamon bread with peanut butter and organic honey, with homemade potato chips and pickles.'

White House chef Cristeta Comerford describing the President's favourite food. That'll be a peanut butter sandwich, then.

 

'I can't see it happening somehow. We don't airbrush to that extent.'

Equality hasn't reached Playboy, explained Hugh Hefner, responding to curvy Kelly Osbourne's wish to appear in the magazine.

 

The truth can hurt ...

 

'Too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs'.

It is lucky that Boris Johnson didn't decide to run for the office of Lord Mayor of Portsmouth. His views on the city didn't endear him to its inhabitants.

 

... But not always

 

'My dear, I thank you. But although I still have the desire, I lack the device.'

Peter O'Toole to a flasher in the lift of a New York hotel. He proved himself a true gentleman, even without a script.

 

Sound advice

 

'Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass who pays for everything.'

Wise words from Paris Hilton, of whom we hope to see much more in 2008.


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Philosophical musings

 

'There are not enough diamond rings in the world to match her worth.'

We're familiar with excuses for not getting engaged, but Jim Carrey's was a classic. His girlfriend Jenny McCarthy stuck around, so she must have been equally impressed.

 

'Why is it good to die for one's country? Isn't it better to live in New York?'

Bar Refaeli, Israeli girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio, on her decision to avoid national service. There was sense in her argument.

 

Fond farewells

 

'Bye. I don't think we'll miss you.'

Cherie Blair to the media as she left Downing Street.

 

'I've had enough. It's time to pack it in. I'm a bloody dinosaur.'

Michael Parkinson, 72, on why he stopped presenting his chat show. But that's nothing compared to the tributes paid by others.

 

'He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a bit of blow [II, 1, 5).]'

Keith Richards on how he snorted his father's ashes. Rockers - they do try hard.

 

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