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Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии. Выпуск 91


Weekly news from UK
  

Образец английского юмора - еженедельные новости из Англии

Выпуск 91 19 июня 2007г. описание форум архив e-mail

Sunday June 10 - Sunday June 17, 2007

A good week for ...

Spooks

Yep, we've noted the gongs for Sir Beefy and Sir Salman, but how about Oleg Gordievsky, the highest-ranking Soviet KGB defector ever, being made a Companion of the Order of St Michael and St George? He was one of the finest double agents of all time, which might be considered a double-edged compliment in some circles. It also creates something of a problem when attempting to determine his key qualities. Should he, for instance, be congratulated on his loyalty, an obviously slippery term in this context?

Whale lovers

It's always been tricky calculating the great mammals' age - the traditional way has something to do with amino acids in the eye lenses. So, how delighted we were last week when a bowhead caught off Boston had a weapon fragment in its neck that dated from more than a century ago. Well done, old centenarian whale - dead though you now are.

Trolleybuses

They're back - for the first time in 35 years. An electric bus network has just been given the go-ahead for Leeds city centre. They pick up their power from overhead wires and are a very good thing all round: lower emissions, less noise, and quite elegant as it happens. And we've always loved the name - trolleybus. It's so Alan Bennett.

Tradition

Our leading footballers get lots of stick for not behaving with due decorum - as do the often free-spending young women with whom they step out. But how lovely that they are all so keen on that most tender of bonds, marriage. Over this weekend, not one, not two, but four England stars got hitched. Sweet, though it has cost a few bob: over £3m between the gang of them. Love, eh?


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A bad week for ...

Strawberries

Difficult as it is to believe - we shake at the very thought - but God's own fruit is being thrown away. Producers cannot find enough migrant workers to pick them and up to 20 per cent of the gorgeous things are left to rot. Why don't they instead just ask local folk along to the field, get them to bring their own cream, and have a strawberry beano?

Inter-faith harmony

It's seldom a good week, in these disputatious times. But Roman Catholics are rather upset that composer John Tavener will premiere his latest piece in Westminster cathedral. That's because his piece The Beautiful Names sets the 99 sacred names Muslims give to Allah to music. Very sacred words for Muslims; but not appropriate to some Catholics, it seems. Come on guys, the performance can borrow your home for a night, surely? It would only be Christian.

Teen sexual health

There's a lot of it about. Stop sniggering at the back - this is not (or not necessarily) a good thing. At 15, our teenagers have had twice as much sex as any other Europeans of the same age.Which results in high levels of sexually-transmitted infections and high levels of teenage pregnancy. Open a good book instead, popsters.

Wannabe deputies

Are you following the, ahem, race for the deputy leadership of the Labour Party? That's OK, we're struggling too. All the contenders are doing their best to find little patches of difference between each other, doing their best to be both loyal and (sort of) radical. But - and we say this with all sympathy for the super six - who gives a toss? Anyway, it's still on, so we're sure we'll change our mind.

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