On Tuesday this week we celebrated April Fools Day in which it is customary to invent
false stories. Famously in 1957 the BBC broadcast a programme about spaghetti farmers in
Switzerland. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in by the story and many
telephoned the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti trees.
So, what has been happening in the world this week?
GOOD WEEK FOR:
An American couple, who have finally decided to get married after living together for 78
years. Zyness O'Haver, 95, told reporters, "It was about time I made an honest
woman" out of his new wife, who is 94. The two started living together as teenagers
in 1925.
New Zealand fishermen, who caught a rare and dangerous squid. Although the squid was
only half-grown it still weighed 150kg and had been feeding on Patagonian Toothfish which
themselves grow to two metres in length
A German artist, who turns dried cow manure into wall clocks and small sculptures. Bernd
Eilts, 43, now wants to expand his repertoire to include cow dung wristwatches. Eilts
first became known in the art world in 2000 with an exhibit entitled "Bullshit".
Young lovers in Tuscany, with the opening of Italys first "Love Car
Park". A car park is being renovated complete with soft lighting and special dustbins
for condoms. Car sex is not illegal in strongly Catholic Italy -- as long as the windows
are covered up. Many Italians live with their parents well into their 30s.
BAD WEEK FOR:
Dwaine Pease, who has been booked by police for stone-throwing aged THREE. .
Police officers swooped after a passing car had its windscreen smashed outside
Dwaines home.
Takoma the dolphin, the mine-hunter enlisted by the US navy in Iraq, who has gone absent
without leave.
Wolfgang Ullrich, the former head of one of Germany's biggest animal welfare groups, who
has been sentenced to 12 years in jail after being found guilty of embezzling 26 million
euros from animal lovers.
A 15-year old boy, who was caught with a prostitute while he was a patient at a hospital
in Michigan, USA. A hospital employee called police after hearing the boy and the
prostitute negotiating the price after the sex act occurred
Danny, a Pekinese dog, who won the title of "Supreme Champion" at Crufts (the
world's biggest dog show). Danny may now be stripped of its title after being accused of
having a secret facelift.
Ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney, who has been told to keep the volume down at his concert
in Rome in May for fear of disturbing the elderly Pope.
Radio broadcaster Phesheya Dube in Swaziland; Dube had been pretending to be
broadcasting to the nation "live" from Iraq until he was spotted in downtown
Mbabane, Swaziland.
British drivers, with the news that 75% of families argue in the car. The main cause of
rows is "back-seat driving" followed by the choice of music and singing!
An Egyptian man, who has had a tumour weighing 20kg removed from his stomach. Mamdouh
Eissa, 51, had suffered from a large swelling in his stomach for several years. The doctor
said: "He looked something like a pregnant woman carrying twins".
STATISTIC OF THE WEEK:
The British spend Ј3.37bn a year on pet food more than the projected
cost of British involvement in the war with Iraq.
QUOTATION OF THE WEEK: "Knowledge consists of knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom consists of
not putting it in your fruit salad".
And now for the answers to last week's Obligation and Probability homework.
PART A:
We can leave the meeting early
We dont need to stay until the end
We must leave the meeting early
We cant stay until the end
We mustnt leave the meeting early
We must stay until the end
We dont need to leave the meeting early
We can stay until the end
We had to leave the meeting early
We couldnt stay until the end
PART B:
Pierre has been given the opportunity to go
to the Mayflower College to improve his English. Isnt it great?
Because I dont have a car any more, I have to
take the bus every day now.
I really must phone John. I promised him I would
do it last week and then I forgot.
Ivan, is there any possibility
of changing the date of the meeting.
PART C:
English is a compulsory subject in all secondary
schools.
The concert was cancelled. The organisers were obliged
to give us our money back.
A life sentence is mandatory for anyone who
commits murder.
No, Ivan, you do not have to do it. Its optional.
Most students are exempt from paying tax.
We had no alternative but to sell our house.
The terrorists forced their victims to lie on the
floor with their eyes closed.
You are liable for damage to a rented car, unless
you take out extra insurance.
You must take the IELTS exam, Ivan. You have no choice.
Military service is obligatory in many countries
for everyone over the age of 18.
And the riddles??
Riddle 1: What do the numbers 11, 69, and 88 all have in common?
They read the same right side up, and upside down.
Riddle 2:
It is in a rock but not in stone,
It is in marrow but not in bone.
It is in a bolster but not in bed.
It's not in the living, and not in the dead.
What am I? The letter R
Riddle 3: What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella
This weeks homework is called "Sound
and Light".
PART A: Choose the correct answer by deleting
one of the words in
red.
I could hear the noise / sound of a gentle stream
running outside the house.
The neighbours made a lot of noises / noise last
night at their party.
The children are making a terrible racket / sound.
Go and tell them to be quiet.
The room was rather dim / sombre so we painted it
white and got some colourful curtains.
The light from the lamp was rather noisy / dim, so
we got a stronger one.
It was a beautiful night, with thousands of stars flashing
/ twinkling in the sky.
The cars headlights gave out a strong twinkle / beam
of light which shone across the river.
A camera flashed / flickered and we knew someone
had taken a photo of us.
The sky is looking very gloomy / flashing; I think
its going to snow.
I heard some strange rackets / noises last night.
I wonder what it was?
PART B:Human sounds use the
following verbs to complete the sentences.
sniff
cough
puff
yawn
hiccup
stammer
snore
sigh
pant
whisper
sneeze
groan
Paul was so nervous he could only _____,
"I I I I Im pleased to meet you".
Ivan, please dont _____ all the time. Use a
tissue and blow your nose.
If we are out of breath after running we _____ and _____.
It is said that people _____ if they sleep with their mouths open and on
their backs.
Paul drank a lot of beer quickly and began to ____.
If you have a cold and you _____, we often say, "Bless you".
Dont speak so loudly, Ivan. Just _____. The
children are asleep.
I always used to _____ in history lessons. They were so boring.
He cant stop talking. We always _____ with relief when he goes
away.
Smoking always makes me _____.
My children _____ when I tell them they must go to bed.
PART C: Match the words in the first column with something in
the third column that makes the sound.
roar
piles of leaves blown by the wind
clatter
thunder in the distance
thud
gas escaping from a pipe
pop
rain falling on a metal roof
bang
someone hitting a big metal bell
crash
a jumbo aeroplane taking off
hiss
a cork coming out of a bottle
rustle
pots and pans being moved in a kitchen
clang
a balloon as it bursts
rumble
a heavy object falling on to a carpeted floor
patter
a big, heavy object falling on to a stone
floor
And finally your riddle this week is:-
What lives on it's own substance, but dies as soon as it devours itself?
Have a lovely week and I will do my best to write to you again
next Friday.