Рассылка закрыта
При закрытии подписчики были переданы в рассылку "Английский для избранных. ENGLISH ME!" на которую и рекомендуем вам подписаться.
Вы можете найти рассылки сходной тематики в Каталоге рассылок.
Английский - просто
Английский - простоЗдравствуйте, уважаемые подписчики! Рекомендовано к ознакомлению:
Архив рассылки: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85 А теперь - непосредственно полезные материалы: АнекдотыThe Amazing Flying Dog A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him." With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. "This dog is a special dog," he tells her. "It is able to fly," he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop. "There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say 'my', he'll eat whatever you've mentioned. Watch. "My apple!" The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket. "He's cute, and so unusual. I'll take him," she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband. "Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!" she exclaims when she gets back home. "He can fly!" The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, "Fly eh? Ha! My foot!" The Cat's Chalkboard Assignments In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human's homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom's toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat's vomited food. 2. I will not jump on the [xxx]. kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human's full bladder at 5:30 A.M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night. 3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx]. sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss's leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires. 4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx]. floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor, TV, baby's mattress, kitchen counter, dining room table, big people's shoes, bathtub, my Dad's collection of (expensive) Nazi daggers, marble floor (acid vomit+marble=etched marble). 5. I will not climb the [xxx]. Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts. 6. I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish. Tissues, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet. 8. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist. Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, human's toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear Chocolate, bananas, pizza, any human food, tea The stove, the pot (not hot) on the stove, sink, the crystal bowl from the people's wedding, piano strings, Mommy's sock drawer, the inside of the antique radio, the car, the electric organ, the computer keyboard. The paper coming from the printer; the newspaper; Mummy; open milk cartons; toilet paper; pantyhose; paper clips; human's toes; my human's penis (see "Robin Williams, Live at the Met"); Christmas tree ornaments; the produce ripening on the kitchen counter; Q-tips; Black Widow spiders; any food, whether wrapped in something or not; the sheets; the computer mouse; Mommy's snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it; 12. I will not try to climb into the [xxx]. Freezer, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, garage. Некоторые слова являются активными ссылками, перейдя по которым Вы попадете на страницу Говорящего словаря, на которой можно прослушать аудиозапись соответствующего слова, то есть - узнать, как правильно произносится это слово (в американском варианте английского языка). Кстати - совсем необязательно "щелкать" по всем ссылкам-словам - переходите по тем, произношение которых Вам неизвестно, или вызывает сомнение. БиографияПримечание: этот и другие тексты могут не соответствовать текущему временному периоду, то есть - возможно, они были созданы несколько лет назад, поэтому в тексте используется именно "то" настоящее время, а не текущее.
На сегодня - все... С уважением, Александр Люкс.
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