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ENGLISH4U.com.ua - Английская Грамматика по E-mail


Грамматика английского языка. Выпуск 79
Рассылка сайта www.english4u.com.ua
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5. Этикет и английский язык

 

Анекдоты на английском языке
A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it 
too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down 
into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing 
a crap there, and the bird landed in it.
At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was 
thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice 
melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, 
saw the bird and ate it.
There are three morals to this story:
1. Not everyone who gets you into s#!t is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of s#!t is your friend
3. If you are in s#!t, keep your mouth shut

* * *

Bob and his Blonde Wife
Bob and his wife live in Toledo, Ohio. One winter morning 
while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We 
are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park 
your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the 
snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio 
announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. 
You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, 
so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio 
announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. 
You must park..........." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face 
she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the
 street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who 
are married to Blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just 
leave it in the garage this time?"

 

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