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Шутки из забугорья


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Шутки из забугорья

Hello, respected readers.
Three short anecdotes:

   Those Are Some Cute Babies

A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train. Along came this woman seeing the two cute babies started asking the man, "Aren't they cute, what are their names?"
The man gave the lady an angry look and replied, "I don't know."
The lady asked again, "Which is the boy and which is the girl?"
The man looking angrier than before replied, "I don't know."
The woman then started to scold the man, "What kind of a father are you?"
The man replied, "I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company."

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|

   Let's Pretend

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage on a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep - the man on the top bunk, and the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's make pretend that we're married."
The man says happily, "OK! Sure!"
The woman says, "GOOD. Get your own damn blanket!"

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|

   The Alabama Jumper

A farmer in Alabama was driving across a bridge in his pickup truck when he noticed a man standing on the rail of the bridge ready to jump to his death in the river below.
The man stopped his truck, ran up to the man, and said, "Hey fellow, why are you doing this?" The man replied, "Well, I have nothing to live for."
The Alabama man replied, "Well, think of your wife and children!" The jumper replied, "I have no wife or children."
The Alabama man then said, "Well, then think of your mother and father!" The man replied, "Mom and Dad passed on many years back." The Alabama man then said, "Well, think of General Robert E.
Lee!" The would-be jumper replied, "Who?"
With that the Alabama man said, "Jump you stupid yankee, jump!"

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :|

   Вокабулярик

carry - держать, нести ;
cute - затруднение ;
scold - бранить ;
salesman - продавец ;
complaint - жалоба, недовольство ;
carriage - вагон ;
embarrassment - затруднение ;
bunk - койка ;
leans - наклоняться ;
awfully - ужасно ;
glint - блеск ;
damn - ругательство ;
fellow - парень ;
passed on - умерли ;
stupid - тупой, глупый ;

Keep laughing!    Aslof
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